Jack Leach feels he now "belongs" in England's Test side as he returns to New Zealand for the first time since being hospitalised and left fearing for his life on the 2019 tour.
The left-arm spinner, who has Crohn's disease, became seriously ill in New Zealand four years ago as food poisoning led to a bout of sepsis and he previously revealed he thought he would not wake up.
Leach is healthy now and was the third-highest wicket-taker in Test cricket in 2022, with his tally of 46 one fewer than the 47 claimed by Australia off-spinner Nathan Lyon and South Africa seamer Kagiso Rabada.
But he was reminded of his past problems when he reached Hamilton, the venue for England's two-day warm-up this week ahead of the first Test in Tauranga from February 16.
Leach said: "When I came back to this hotel I was like 'ah, there's bad memories coming here'. I was on a drip and had antibiotics in the other arm. It slowly got worse and worse.
"I was really struggling for a bit. It wasn't great, but that's all in the past now. I'm having too much fun to get ill now.
"It can be stress-related, so maybe being a little bit more relaxed is actually helping that side of my health as well. Fingers crossed it stays that way."
'I'm just trying to enjoy it as much as I can'
England have won nine of 10 Tests since Ben Stokes became captain and Brendon McCullum head coach, with a 3-0 sweep in Pakistan prior to Christmas the attack-minded team's most recent success.
Leach said: "I always felt like cricket was an individual sport within a team, but this feels like such a team. It's something I feel very lucky to have experienced because it's a lot more enjoyable.
"It's been probably the most important thing for me, that backing and feeling like I belong.
"I know at some point someone might come along who's better and takes my place, and that will be absolutely fair enough.
"But I'm just trying to enjoy it as much as I can and do as much as I can for the team."
Leach's Test wickets in 2022 came at an average of 38.28 and the spinner is determined to lower that, adding: "I'd love that [average] be 31, 32, but I know the only way I can do that is by bowling better, not safer. I need to be braver."
England opted to halve what was an initial four-day warm-up against a New Zealand XI and will instead prepare with a two-day fixture against the pink ball.
The day-night first Test against the Black Caps a week later will be followed by the second and final fixture - a regular day game - in Wellington from February 23.
England Test squad for New Zealand tour: Ben Stokes (captain), James Anderson, Stuart Broad, Harry Brook, Zak Crawley, Ben Duckett, Ben Foakes, Will Jacks, Dan Lawrence, Jack Leach, Ollie Pope, Matthew Potts, Ollie Robinson, Joe Root, Olly Stone.
Follow England's two-Test series in New Zealand, which starts on February 16, across Sky Sports' digital platforms.
